Alexander Perlin “no matter what the rakes teach, suckers all believe in miracles.” According to the hat and Senka. The “bloody regime” is gradually awakening - Alexander Perlin Russia versus China: who has the strongest army

They actually bombed ISIS, but a lot of people were shell-shocked all over the world...

The new dog, John Kirby, recently made his mark with an epic phrase: “Russia does not share the goals of the United States.” Undoubtedly, he wanted to convey something to the general public, but he spilled it along the way... Is the place something contagious? He proposes to share goals... We won’t share anything, and don’t expect it! So let's bomb our targets!

Another native of the American continent, Steve (Stas - in our opinion) Warren, brought to the attention of the Russians that “Assad is treating his citizens unfairly.” We’ll leave the clumsy construction of the phrase itself to the translator’s conscience, but about justice, I would like to go into more detail, because we have our own view on it, especially in relation to the activities of each specific politician... More recently, another victory for Western tolerance was discussed on the forums - the opening of an orphanage in quiet Denmark for elderly homosexuals... While sarcastically sympathizing with the difficult lot of elderly foreign achtungs, the people nevertheless began to think that it would not be a bad idea to place our favorite, Nobel laureate Mikhail Sergeich Gorbachev, there, so that his epic bald spot does not become overgrown with hair... This is it, gentlemen, democrats and it would be a triumph of humanism and justice, and not at all the asphalting of the national leader Assad, who is defending the independence of his country!

Turkish President Erdogan is always for justice, in all its manifestations. Having mentally bombed the Kurds, he nevertheless angrily condemned the Russian strikes against ISIS... And one can understand him! It doesn’t matter when, out of the blue, someone starts disposing of partners in a dangerous business! This disrupts the delivery schedule for stolen oil and greatly harms business! For those who don’t know: it is Erdogan’s son, with the pioneering enthusiasm that has been fairly forgotten among us, who is selling ISIS oil... Good boy! And this circumstance, and not the more popular conspiracy theories about the restoration of the Great Ottoman Empire, became the main problem for Recep...

But just yesterday, the world was beautiful, and Erdogan thought that he was firmly holding the stupid Russians with their naive plans for building a gas pipeline by Faberge. Having given his consent in principle to the bloody Gazprom to generously invest in the Turkish economy, Recep, as a reward for his undoubtedly noble act, demanded praise, admiration, and magical discounts on gas... It’s clear - a benefactor, where would we be without him, three times: “ ku”... The insolent partner behaved like a pregnant eighth-grader, throwing tantrums and tormenting Miller with his whims: “Stay there, come here!” Moreover, the more Recep became convinced that Miller had nowhere to go, the more impudent he became! And things were already getting to the point that the Russians were ready to agree to pay extra for the fact that the Turkish side would mercifully allow them to supply their authoritarian gas, when everything collapsed... It turned out that old Miller simply used a naive Turkish dreamer to implement insidious plans to enslave Europe, he used it cynically and ruthlessly, as bowlers use the skull-shaped kolobok ball to topple the pins with a bang... Miller struck a strike, and considerable credit for this, as it turned out, belongs to the greedy but stupid Erdogan.

Because looking at his entreche, the Europeans made two conclusions for themselves: the Russians are ready to stop transit through Nenka at any cost, and it is better to deal with them than with Turkish politicians who are completely sick. In addition, the reserves of the gas fields of the Russian North, although large, are not immeasurable; there may not be enough for everyone, especially since the competitors, “Power of Altai” and “Baltic LNG”, are right there.

After which a whole team of foreign investors, popularly called the “gang,” announced their desire to quickly build the Nord Stream 2 gas pipeline... And it became clear that there really wasn’t enough gas for everyone... Specifically, the Turks wouldn’t have enough... Miller, eggs in one basket does not put: neither European, nor Erdogan’s!

Once again, having gone to shear Gazprom’s sheep, the partners returned shaved... Everyone still doesn’t understand who they got in touch with. It’s not even about the smart and cunning Miller, he won’t be there, another will come... Everyone at Gazprom is like that... For those especially in doubt, I suggest tracing the history of the notorious Nord Stream, design work for the construction of which began (surprise, surprise!!!) in the distant past 1997, when the crisis was raging in Russia with all its might... On the international arena, on the contrary, everything was smooth and smooth: in the Kuyovshchina, the red-haired Kuchma signed an eternal treaty of friendship, cooperation and partnership, the Black Sea Fleet was divided, and the gas issue did not arise in any form... It turns out that even then Gazprom predicted possible complications with transit and thought about diversifying supplies! Can you imagine what categories these people think in!? It’s their partners who are now trying to separate them... Flag in hand, what...

An angry Erdogan, meanwhile, said that he would refuse to buy Russian gas... And the flag for him... No, in principle, this is possible, no problems, it only takes a few billion and five years... Well, to stretch the pipe from Iran, others... the options are generally dead... The Turkish partners have neither one nor the other... Moreover, the gas pipeline will pass through the territory of self-proclaimed Kurdestan... Let the guys rejoice...

In the meantime, only Ukrainian military analysts are rejoicing... Of course, I understand that the gaps of very incomplete and extremely secondary education among the taming public are usually filled by studying the philosophical works of Pedalik, but you need to know your limits!

Now, for example, the news about the Russian MIG-29 shot down by the Turks is being actively discussed...

— But Russia doesn’t have Mig-29s in Syria!

That's right... Not anymore!

If you believe their military experts, then Russia has already lost half a dozen combat aircraft in the conflict... According to Ukrop’s understanding, any monkey, if given a shaitan trumpet and shown where to press, is able to shoot down a modern combat aircraft... To bring this public to a sane state, wholesale supplies are needed haloperidol from a warehouse in Vilyuysk, and selective enema of the most active users, but we don’t have time now, so let them live like that...

Spurred on by the rise in oil prices, economists perked up and eagerly rushed to convince the public that there were no prerequisites for an increase in oil prices... Here, of course, they got excited, because the Votkinsk Machine-Building Plant produces these prerequisites in three shifts... But economists are no stranger to disgrace, Let me remind you that just recently, when the price was falling, these same people declared that there were no prerequisites for a fall... They are interested in economics, that’s why they are economists... I don’t claim that I am a mountaineering instructor, just because I love mountains... Vorobyovy... Elbrus , however, somehow not very...

However, not all partners are completely stupid; there are also quite sensible specimens. Immediately after the “Dagestan fireworks”, the former Secretary of State of Pendostan Madeleine Albright suddenly appeared in public and categorically stated that she never proposed to cut down our Siberia, they say she was falsely slandered... What’s interesting: the bullet about Siberia, which “should belong to the world community,” attributed Albraitihe, this is not the first year that she has been blowing the minds of Runet users, but she only now decided to refute it...

Who said that parents are not chosen!? The fellow brothers have again chosen their father... For the fifth time... What is alarming is that there are no angry cries about the need for a change of power, and the OSCE is silent, and there is no hysteria in PACE, and the State Department is in no hurry to make statements... Only lethargic local opps , they bitterly state that the stupid people again chose stability over progressive development... Sanctions were lifted again... Am I the only one who thinks that the West has already begun foreplay?

Our Iraqi allies, as a result of the special operation, were unable to hit the main ISIS boss Al-Baghdadi, but they upset him greatly, he is now in the hospital, treating his neurosis... One hope remains for the American partners: since they are bombing hospitals anyway, maybe will they contribute this time!?

Alexander Perlin

Eh West, not sweat, but smell,

not women, but fairy tales from the Brothers Grimm,

Martini, bikini mini,

And pleasure, eternal, like Rome.

It seems that our Anglophiles have finally come to the realization that not everything is so wonderful on the Island of Scoundrels... True, just before the realization, English gentlemen came and squeezed out the money... Our national (?) elite, aiming at a comfortable retirement in bliss and comfort among centuries-old oaks in the old English castle it suddenly became no longer funny. Crystal dreams dissipated like the diamond smoke of Kisa Vorobyaninov: a thoroughbred butler with a bulldog face named Barrymore, and the house ghost of Lady Jane howling in the fireplace at night, beheaded by her horned husband in a thousand and some shaggy years, and the well-trained female servants, their with white aprons reminiscent of domestic high school girls at the last bell: “Yes, sir,” and the freshest, freshest oysters on family silver (snot with the taste of mine, by and large, what’s there!), and a snow-white yacht in Loch Lomond, and Queen Charlotte’s Ball at Kensington Palace, and thoroughbred trotters at the traditional Royal Ascot in Windsor, and sudden busty ladies' orchestras continuously performing “Tango-amapa”, everything has gone to waste!

The sweet and kind purebred face of the old lady of England suddenly revealed its essence to us and made many suddenly feel worse... Hello face, when did you become a face...

Or even like that!

The former chief of Chukotka also felt bad, who, having been discharged from the government service, for a long time and diligently demonstratively distanced himself not only from the Kremlin, but also from Russia... He was laundered, damn it! It was not possible to completely comb out the “Russian scab” and the person involved is expected to swallow the dust (as the Darkest One predicted four years ago), forced to answer uncomfortable questions from the British:

Tell us, my dear Abramovich, where did you get the funds to acquire national British pride, the Chelsea club and other assets no less significant for the kingdom, huh? You have some dirty money...

I’ll be a bastard, Putin has soiled me...

It seems to me that a most fascinating action awaits us soon: the kneeling Abramovich repenting before the British authorities...

The funny thing is that Roma, under oath in an English court, had already admitted that his acquisition of Sibneft was an obvious fraud, but that was back in 2011, when the British were best friends and Romkin’s money didn’t smell... Now, when suddenly money smelled like a “newbie”, the shavers won’t prove anything, they’ll shake the oligarch out of his pants and send him bare-assed around the world... This won’t take much time, because in the modern advanced economy fiercely praised by liberals, capital is not bars of gold in a money vault Uncle Scrooge, and columns of stupid ones and zeroes on a bank server inaccessible to you, so one awkward move by the owner of the bank and you instantly turn from an oligarch into a rogue... If the owners of the bank want this, of course. And there is no doubt that they will want it. It’s not for nothing that the violinist was hunted down... This is an English national pastime, baiting in the sense: once upon a time they poisoned foxes while hunting, then the Chinese, then the Indians with opium, they even managed to casually poison our one-of-a-kind, unique even for Russia, elder Khlyst Grigory Efimovich New (Rasputin)... Yes, yes, comrades, according to recent historical data, it was the Englishwoman who shit in the cakes with which the holy elder was snacking on Madeira in the basement of Prince Yusupov’s house during the Nativity Fast... They said: “Until the first star, no, no!”... No listened...

Roma didn’t listen either, although four years ago Putin warned the moneybags who settled on the island: “Run, you fools!” Roma, in response, made a stupid face, clasped his hands over his head and grinned joyfully, saying that I was in the house... It was in this house that they would hunt him down...

He, of course, is indignant that they are not allowed on the Island, but in theory, he should be happy, even without money, but at least he will remain free... And alive, which is not unimportant... Not everyone will be so lucky, because the Englishwoman shits like a cow that has eaten too much clover, and the British Parliament is already actively discussing the report “Moscow’s Gold: Russian Corruption in the United Kingdom.” Parliamentarians call on the British government to fight Russian “investors” more harshly and consistently, with all the consequences, so to speak... In short, they will rob!

Delivered by the Kremlin's reaction:

This is not our question,” said Russian Presidential Press Secretary Dmitry Peskov during a briefing. “Certain demands are put forward, and, probably, in this case, the applicant needs to draw conclusions about how legal they are, not us.”

Everyone understands, no? To Caesar - Caesar's, and to applicant Abramovich - applicant's, and very applicant's...

Borus Johnson did not stay away from these nursery rhymes, declaring his desire to attack Putin’s people... Yeah, another “bulk” was found, as if we didn’t have enough of our own...

They promise to attack, or rather to attack ours at the championship, and the notorious English fans, united with several clubs for this holy purpose... I don’t know, I don’t know, in my opinion, attacking our fans, and even on our territory, is a bad idea... It’s much safer for the riot police give a penalty, in this case at least the consequences are predictable, albeit sad... But while the fans are boasting with might and main about going to the army, let's see what happens when the shit goes...

In general, our relations with the British Kingdom are deteriorating before our eyes, and one could say that they have completely deteriorated, if not for one “but”... A certain part of our fellow citizens, in spite of everything, continues to enthusiastically admire Britain itself and its inhabitants.

Judge for yourself: over the past month, all the media, regardless of their editorial policy, have been excitedly singing praises about the upcoming wedding of the youngest heir to the British crown... The situation was covered by special correspondents from London, stunned by the fact that they managed to get to this blessed city. With delight worthy of better use, another whistle squealed about how great everything is there, how everyone dreams of going to this epoch-making celebration... How everything will be refined and elegant, sweet and romantic...

Well, since all interested parties have expressed their enthusiasm for the “fairy-tale and magical” wedding, then I will allow myself just a few words.

Tell me, comrades, what is there really to admire there? Initially, they didn’t even plan to treat guests, they say, whoever wants to, let him bring his own.

I immediately imagined myself in the place of an invited guest: we take a roast pig, a box of vodka, a button accordion, and set off to make children’s squeals with their ladies directly on the royal lawns... Then, in the midst of the fun, we set off to beat the faces of the company of Chechen “gays” having fun next door on a lowered Priora, driven right onto the lawn, from the open trunk of which comes the perky song “Trash Hop” performed by the group “Vorovaiki”... Why this particular song? Everything is simple here: the groom, the red monkey, thought of showing up to the celebration in a cop’s cap...

Apparently one of the organizers had an equally vivid imagination, because at the last moment they decided to provide a treat for the guests... Well, how was the treat? A gourmet hot dog with a sophisticated cup of tea from a bag... And look there, don’t deny yourself anything, dear guests... It would be nice if the family didn’t have money for the wedding... What kind of lack of funds can we even talk about if the father has a “young “Prince Charles has two kidneys, and other relatives have a full set of livers? Grandma, in general, only last year washed Ten million pounds from the treasury through offshore companies... So there is the usual greed at work...

Elizabeth: I won’t give you money!

If the young man scraped together enough money for a dress, then the groom, thanks to greedy relatives, was forced to get married in military uniform. Moreover, the grandmother even pinched the famous guards bearskin cap and had to be content with the old-style cop cap mentioned above with a cool trench coat made of young dermantine leather...

By the way, I have some suspicions about this. I don’t want to offend anyone, but the other day, while digging through the antessols, I didn’t find my little-worn cap, received at the clothing supply warehouse back in the days of early Gorbachev, after that I never received a uniform due to the specifics of the work, and that’s why it’s dear to me, as material confirmation of my heroic youth. The loss looked something like this:

And, suddenly, what do I see? An insolent red mug, the owner of which, in principle, no face control will allow into a decent club, cuts through my cap! I glued some crap on the visor symbolizing an oak wreath, changed the trench coat with a cockade and thought I couldn’t recognize it!? Rogue!!!

He also shows his tongue, teasingly, like... He took after his grandmother, who also did not disdain stolen goods. They washed the Vladimir tiara from the Grand Duchess Maria Pavlovna in 1917 and immediately on her royal head: look at the people of England, how bochally your rulers live!

And the rest of the relatives are no better: the Kohinoor diamond was stolen from the Indian Rajas, they did not disdain...

The following are the following:

We have a diamond lying around here somewhere... “Kohinoor” (to the British) Didn’t you take it?

The British (sternly): We don’t know, none of your diamonds, why do we need them!? We have our own “Kohinoor”... Duke Richard Pigtail personally mined it in the form of a diamond in a camberlite pipe near London and presented it as a gift to King Richard the Lionheart! Since then, he has been shining in the royal crown in a place of honor... Be-be-be (they show their tongue, just like Saakashvilli Harry)...

These people are admired by our media, which shamelessly call these hare dances “the most significant event of the year,” despite the fact that, according to the members themselves (God forgive me) of the royal family: “this is a family event, not an official state event.” But we don’t care! Opening of the Crimean Bridge, Election of the Darkest Putin, adoption of hypersound? No, we haven’t heard...

The marriage of an unshaven man, a drunkard and a womanizer with Nazi views, who will never become a king, to a woman “with a past” is another matter - yes! This is an epochal event, worthy of sycophancy and all sorts of obsessing... Even a crowd of analysts, having temporarily forgotten about the crests, are in full swing discussing how this will affect the situation in the world, and what will happen next... What will happen, what will happen? His mother-in-law will be a black woman, and she will be completely useless, since she doesn’t know how to bake pancakes, and that’s all business...

Under socialism, there was a socio-political phenomenon called “adulation to the West.” Socialism is long gone, but the phenomenon itself not only remains, but has also become stronger, and Britain is in a special position here...

The country of unprincipled, greedy and arrogant snobs-pontorez, eager for other people's goods, still attracts and attracts a separate category of compatriots... It would seem that they like it that way, so go and live there, tea is not Brezhnev times, no, they are blowing our minds here! Drive already, to the song “Dorozhnaya” by the Leningrad group, and you’ll also be invited to a wedding, and they’ll give you a plate from the royal service...

(Laughing, I can't stop)

The pretentious speech of Barak Khuseinich at the anniversary assembly of the UN produced a sedative effect on those present, and people in the hall openly yawned... Our Lavrov behaved well, and was very glad that he did not take Medvedev to the meeting... Instead of the fifteen minutes prescribed by protocol, Brak droned on for an hour, making the audience sleepy ... Still, whatever you say, without chewing gum in his mouth, the American President looks somehow unconvincing: a dull look, mournful muttering about American exceptionalism... I’ve already heard somewhere about national exceptionalism... It seems to me alone that a black man proclaiming with UN tribunes fascist slogans - is this too much? Or do you still believe that this pretzel, black as a hole in hell, and brash as a monkey, is going to solve the world's problems? Then you should see a psychiatrist, because his life credo is to create these problems!
Although in this field, the primate hasn’t had a lot of luck lately: take the same Mistrals... As a result of a brilliantly conceived and brilliantly executed American combination, the Russians were left in Syria without air support from ships, because the Bonjourians broke off the Mistrals, and the only Russian aircraft carrier "Admiral Kuznetsov" - on preventive maintenance at the docks... A hopeless situation? Fuck it: the Chinese were asked, they brought their aircraft carrier to the Syrian shores... And everyone is fine... Except for Obama and ISIS, of course!

Just Aloizych... I mean, Khuseinich, I still don’t understand who he’s dealing with... It’s the same with us: we wanted, for example, to hang a reproduction of Zotov’s famous painting “A Bad and a Good Man” (the original of which Lyokha Navalny stole right from the opening day) on the wall, but he doesn’t have a hammer drill... But the neighbor has one... He, the bastard, drills holes for paintings for them every Saturday at six in the morning. We go to him and borrow the tool... Putin is undoubtedly our man, and for him there is no fundamental difference between a hammer drill and a Mistral. We must, then, take it from a neighbor...
This is Russia, baby; his line... Cameron, accused by his fellow citizens of bestiality, has already happily defected to Putin's anti-ISIS coalition, claiming that Britain seriously intends to cooperate in the fight against international bandits... Politicians from the Island of Scoundrels, on the acidic soils of which the gladiolus of the Russian opposition has withered from hopeless melancholy Borya Berezovsky is a master at changing shoes quickly, and always manages to take the winning side in time... This test will be more accurate than two stripes, damn it!
Of course, at the UN, in addition to Khuseinich and other inadequate people, just one delegation bringing a dirty, torn yellow and blue rag to a meeting is worth a lot. The guard who escorted them out of the hall sniffed the rag for a long time and disgustedly... I couldn’t believe it, seeing that this was the Independent flag... That’s right: the real flag doesn’t smell like that, every guard knows that!

Japanese Premus Abe confidently stated that he does not recognize the elections in the Eastern Outskirts, even if you cut him... Abe did not explain why he does not recognize the elections, but added that the parties must comply with the Minsk agreements... Moreover, explain to the petty duck that these same agreements imply holding elections is pointless, he doesn’t give a fuck, he’s a real samurai. And a real samurai, as you know, must be stupid and brave...
And of course, Putin’s speech at the UN caused a real head-shaking... Russian liberals, even more stupid than the Americans, joyfully screamed that “Putins leaked”, asked for mercy and the lifting of sanctions, and in general, were ready to surrender to Khuseinich, which is why they spoke quietly and politely... To listen to this audience, it turns out that if the Darkest One didn’t immediately shoot anyone in the snout, then he showed weakness, so what?
Meanwhile, the liberal public, as usual, did not pay attention to what exactly Putin politely voiced in his quiet voice... No one reads anything! (c) But in vain, because our President told Pindos and sympathizers that missile and bomb attacks carried out on Syrian territory, without UN sanction and coordination with the Syrian leadership, are criminal, and from now on, all their actions wishing to “bomb” will have to be coordinated with a coordination center in Iraq... That is, in fact, the allies (Iran, Iraq, Syria and Russia) announced the creation of a no-fly zone over Syria. American air supremacy is over:
- Do you want to bomb? Get in line, you sons of bitches! And our operators will make sure that they bomb not the positions of the Syrian troops and the Kurds who have joined, but those who are needed. What operators? Yes, those who operate on the S-300 air defense system...

Naturally, Khuseinich did not realize the full depth of this humiliation, due to his natural feeble-mindedness, and continued to mutter about the bloody Assad, who should be immediately removed, but the rest understood the situation right away! Kerry threw a tantrum in an interview with MSNBC. moving on to threats: “Russia will become a target for terrorists and will see people with MANPADS and planes falling from the sky.” Moreover, it is completely incomprehensible why people with MANPADS did not shoot down American planes, which, if you believe the propaganda, made fifty sorties against ISIS positions every day. If I were an American journalist, I would certainly ask him this question... Just to see what he would say in response... But, as you know, the “hungry cow”... Hmm...
I think that Kerry himself regretted what he said as soon as the echo in the studio died down. But, the word is not a sparrow, it will fly out and aha... The next day, the Secretary of State, wrinkling his horse’s face in annoyance, in an interview with CNN, disavowed his words and confirmed that the States “refused the demand for the immediate resignation of Syrian President Bashar al-Assad,” and are also ready allow Russia to resolve the Syrian conflict... To the point of tears, damn it! Wow, they are ready... Is it okay that we are actually already there, without merciful permission?
Barak Khuseynych is bashfully silent... He meditates, learns the unknown and penetrates into the hidden essence of things, wraps himself in other words...

Alexander Perlin

Desires, they are material... Our sworn partners, together with the domestic Carbonari, have been talking for so long about the inevitable destruction of the Mordorian economy when oil prices collapse that this could not help but happen...

It’s happened: oil prices fell, and the partners froze in anticipation of the Russian economy’s predicted collapse. They froze, they are afraid to exhale... Get away, idiots, rumors about the demise of the economy, spread by a black man, are greatly exaggerated, while only another of our great friends, the King of the Emirates, who, according to numerous analysts, organized the current laugh, has killed the oak... The liberal public mourns and sprinkles head with ashes...

The other riffraff, who didn’t have enough money for tickets to Riyadh, exaggeratedly cheerfully, began to reassure each other that nothing fundamentally would change, the new king would be no worse than the old one, and would continue politics, and would not forget old friends...

The Chinese, meanwhile, decided to count the number of contenders for the throne in this fairy-tale kingdom. We counted them three times, each time getting different results, but we always got at least five thousand princes: good and different, small and not so... No one explained to the deceased in time that uncontrolled sexual intercourse leads not only to sexually transmitted diseases, but also to the appearance of a whole bunch unwanted heirs - competitors in the prize race for the throne. Adding humor to the situation are bearded pilgrims from ISIS, who politely knock on the doors of the kingdom with the butts of machine guns and inquire about the safety of the shrines...

The Chinese comrades took into account all of the above and decided that it was undesirable to further cooperate with this explosive formation, but being educated people, they explained to the world community their decision to reduce oil purchases from the Saudis due to difficult weather conditions on sea routes... Storms, hurricanes, tsunamis of all kinds... It has become dangerous, they say, to transport oil across the sea... What is meant here, of course, is not weather conditions, but the multiplying sea reptiles of the "Ohio" class, which have recently become fashionable to roam around in areas where Chinese tankers appear, but this was not said out loud... .

“Oops” turned out to be quite impressive, especially considering that the Chinese comrades found a replacement for Arab oil on the ruins of the “torn to shreds of the Russian economy”... At the same time, the evergreen buck was ordered to bite his elbows, since his participation in the deal is not envisaged...

Rabbit Senya also decided to diversify supplies, he heard this word when he was cleaning... I mean, he worked in a bank... We learned that Arseny began his career as a bank employee from the ubiquitous Yura from Sumy, who, without being at all surprised, the fact that the rabbit occupies the prime minister's post, he was very indignant at how in 1998 a serious organization, which undoubtedly is a bank, could hire such a clinical idiot as Yatsenyuk.

And it is quite natural that, due to his mental capabilities, Senya’s very concept of diversification is very different from the generally accepted one... Having learned from Miller that in exactly three years Tseevropa will be able to use the gas pipeline only as a pneumatic mail, for the high-speed sending of guest workers to civilized countries. baby, because Gazprom won’t need him at all, Senya Rabbit wasn’t that upset... He was furious, and in all honesty, he declared that Kuyovshchina would completely refuse non-kosher Mordor gas...

The word was said that the bullet had been fired, and Senya turned to the Poles with a proposal to build a gas pipeline through which Poland would supply blue (in the good sense of the word) nishtyaks to Kuyovshchina... At the same time, the question: “Where will the Poles get gas?”, Premus at all don’t bother, that’s their problem! And, funny thing is, he turned out to be right! The Poles are such a people, they are ready to sell anything, to anyone, at any time: it doesn’t matter, therefore, having learned that their neighbors were cut off from gas, they immediately agreed to sell this gas... The situation was anecdotal, the Psheks rushed to look for gas, dill - money... The most piquant thing is that the defendants decided by default that the European Union would build the pipe at its own expense (why were they afraid, I wonder?)...

He who seeks will find, and if not what he is looking for, then certainly trouble, but the Poles, in our case, were very lucky. The fact is that another small, but terribly proud, albeit hit hard, Lithuania also decided to reduce its energy dependence on Mordor, and for this purpose acquired a terminal for storing liquefied gas from Norway... At first the Lithuanians wanted to build this terminal, but after learning the price of the issue, they changed their minds, deciding: “Well, to hell with it, it’s better to let damned Miller choke on our Jews.” However, the cunning Norgas, from whom the Lithuanians planned to purchase that very liquefied gas, sensing that the client might break, decided not to let the situation go, and offered the naive Lithuanians a way out - they say, why the hell should you build a terminal when you can easily rent it, because it’s floating... Floating in the sense...

After scratching their turnips, the Lithians agreed, signing a lease agreement for ten years, for a measly half a billion... Independence from the hated Mordor is worth more... Yes, it was “Independence”, that was the name of the brand new, brand new floating tanker-terminal... What the matter was unclean, the tenants began to realize when they saw that the miracle of technology was painted in the colors of the hated Russian flag... However, it didn’t take much time to find out: “What’s the catch?”, it turned out that the impudent norgs, having profitably attached their trough for rent, agree to fill it with gas only twenty percent, the rest, by default, the client must look for in the market himself... Having popped into the market, the litas discovered that the American owners were not at all ready to sell their branded “special shale”, and all sorts of Qatar-Australia, for they charge such a ridiculous price for their resource that once they fill it with "Independence" and the only break-even enterprise in Lithuania will be the Vilnius crematorium, which will be loaded with work for months to come, because the population simply cannot stand such gas prices - they will die... And why, one wonders, In such situations, is this terminal even needed, for which you also have to pay rent? The abandoned litas were already ready to fall into despondency when Polish buyers suddenly appeared...

The Lithuanians, stunned with happiness, suddenly realized that they were not the last losers, because they were being occupied! The only problem was where to get the necessary volumes of gas... How do you like the intrigue? Further, it’s funnier: Gazprom announced that it is ready to supply any volumes of LNG, although only in three years (what a coincidence!) when the gas liquefaction plant in Ust-Luga starts operating... The Poles will just have time to transfer the pipe to Kuyovshchina... But The most offensive thing is that the vile Gazprom did not express any surprise at the fact that patients vehemently refuse totalitarian pipeline gas, but happily take expensive liquefied gas: the customer is always right, what’s up...

Pop the dudes' business! We just have to wait a little to admire how this “communal condominium on trust” will function when the people predictably declare that they have no money...

The fabulous losers, the Bulgarian brothers, continue to deliver... No matter what anyone says, to screw up such a deal with Gazprom is what an outstanding sucker you have to be! Here, luck alone is not enough, it requires special talent... And so, instead of going around, the Bulgarians are again climbing where they have already earned so much money, continuing the construction of the deceased "South Stream" and announcing their intentions to build a gas hub... Lithuanians, with their own terminal smoking nervously! Everything would be fine, but it seems to me that it would be easier for the Bulgarians to fill up the Black Sea than to get permission from us to lay a pipe in territorial waters. However, regarding the sea, this is for the Ukrainians: they dug it, let them bury it themselves!

Somehow, but to me the situation on the European gas market is very reminiscent of the nineties: there are a ton of players in the market, everyone is selling and buying something, cheating on each other, fighting, and complaining to the “roofs,” but dig deeper, and there’s no money. whoever doesn’t have any goods... Just naked show-offs...

Material Alexander Perlin

The European partners are nervous about something... They've become kind of crazy! It used to be good and heartfelt...

The specter of communism, launched by Marx, wandered around Europe, causing only a slight smile from the satisfied average person with its lamentations...

Different times have come, and such a familiar and almost familiar ghost has been replaced by new characters: the bearded Babai with the stub of a helicopter in his strong teeth, the cunning Miller, picturesquely playing with a piece of gas pipe and, of course, the bloody Putin, with an evil Cheburashka on a leash...

New ghosts cause panic and ringworm among the inhabitants of the European Union: they shy away from every Russian tourist, like a cat from a vacuum cleaner - what if it’s a green man!? They came up with a scarecrow and firmly believed in it...

I’ll say this: they didn’t see truly terrible things! I’m afraid to even imagine what kind of hysteria could happen if they were shown a lowered, tinted Priora roaring overtaking in oncoming traffic... That’s where the real horror is! Even for us, let alone talk about Europe...

However, in order to calm the nervous public, NATO regularly conducts exercises near the borders of the hated Mordor. The fattest NATO eggplant, Jens Stoltenberg, said the other day that everything is practically under control, and the alliance has already taken measures to strengthen the eastern flank...

The mere fact that Jens so elegantly uses the terribly special term “flank” reveals him as a seasoned warrior, and this greatly calms the nervous Balts, who, in fact, in company with the Poles, make up this very eastern flank...

Although, in fairness, it is worth noting that the threat of occupation is not the only problem of the flank of the “Baltic Tigers”...

Now, for example, they are furiously epilating the bikini area (tearing out the hair on the ass), in anticipation of wholesale deliveries of blacks from a warehouse in Lapeduso...

Not only are there a ton of problems of their own, but there’s also a whole bunch of Obama’s relatives who want to settle down...

Take Lithuania, which, finally feeling like a major player in the gas market, is frantically rushing around in search of a way out, preoccupied with how to get out of this market as quickly as possible...

For those who have forgotten what the point is, let me remind you: in 2011, small but greedy Lithuania decided that Russian pipeline gas was expensive and not kosher for it...

A brilliant move was invented that allowed not only to diversify gas supplies, but also to make a lot of money from it. For this, a very small thing was required - to build a terminal for storing liquefied gas, into which LNG can be pumped, and from there it can be traded throughout Europe...

The cost of building such a nice thing was 200 million bucks. Damn, it’s a bit expensive for small and greedy Lithuania! But the cunning Lithuanians found a way out by deciding to rent a tanker - a gas storage facility - directly from the liquefied gas producer - Norway. They say it will be cheaper...

The Norgs, having discovered such standard suckers at their side, who even have wristwatches, and those with a cuckoo, enthusiastically agreed to provide the tanker on the conditions that Lithuania would pump half a billion cubic meters of Norwegian gas into it annually...

Why, to celebrate, they even ordered a special tanker from Korea, paying the same two hundred million for its construction. The Lithuanian vessel lease agreement was concluded for ten years. Now, hold on to your chairs, comrades: the rental price is 680 million euros...

But then the tanker can be bought back... at its residual value... Oops...

Last fall, the ship was brought to its mooring site. Moreover, the insidious Scandinavians did not deny themselves the pleasure of trolling the Litvins by painting the tanker, cynically named “Independence”, in the colors of the Russian flag, which caused a real wave of hysteria among the unfortunate Balts. But, having calculated the cost of repainting, and slightly cooled down the ardor, the Lithuanians thought that the storage facility would be filled with Norwegian gas only a quarter, which is clearly unprofitable, and suggested that the Norges increase supplies by no more or less, but by one and a half billion cubic meters...

Stunned by how fabulously business these idiots had, the Norgs sadly stated that they were unable to supply more than the agreed upon volumes... Not a liter...

And then the Lithuanians began to look around the world for a replacement. Negotiations on supplies were conducted with Algeria, Nigeria, Trinidad and Tobago, the USA and Azerbaijan. SuperDalia Grybauskaite was lewdly shaking the terminal drawings in front of the stunned Qatari emir’s nose, persuading him to supply the missing volumes...

It is known that fools have their own god, and fortunately, for the Lithuanians, it was not possible to conclude contracts for gas supplies with anyone, otherwise it is unknown how this whole scam would have ended...

The story turned out to be muddy, like the waters of the Chinese Yellow River, on the one hand, the boys seemed to be making leaps and bounds towards success, but at the same time, something clearly wasn’t working out...

And when the Poles got in, natural hell and Israel began! The Psheks, for a small share, offered the Litvins to sell gas to the Ukrainians... Appreciate the humor of the situation! To do this, all that was needed was to build a gas pipeline from Lithuania through Poland to Kuyivshchina...

Moreover, the cunning Poles offered to buy liquefied gas for sale... from Russia from a plant under construction in Ust-Luga... Bingo!

I was rolling on the floor laughing...

What is especially annoying is that in such situations it is completely impossible to determine who is a sucker, because everyone is a sucker! The Poles even turned to Brussels so that the European Union would finance the construction of the gas pipeline...

In Brussels, quite predictably, they were sent to where Poroshenko had already stuffed his Nenka... Then it dawned on the Lithuanians: why the hell, the Poles are actually needed when gas can be driven through existing pipes through Belarus! The Poles were cynically abandoned and offered cooperation to Old Man... Shchaz!

It should be noted that back in 2011, Old Man was going to take part in the Lithuanian gas scam with the construction of a terminal and the supply of Qatari gas, but he changed his mind in time: either he saw what idiots he was dealing with, or Miller suggested something... In general, neither then nor Now nothing has happened to Lithuania...

However, for six months the Lithuanians felt like gas tycoons and Gazprom’s main competitors in the European market...

What is there! They had almost already disposed of the hated Miller office, like the cannibal Ellochka of Vanderbilt, but suddenly one unpleasant detail became clear: no one needs Norwegian liquefied gas, with Lithuanian markups, which the tycoons were notified about, without mincing words, by neighboring Poland, Estonia and Latvia...

Of course, because the price offered by Lithuania is 200 bucks higher than the totalitarian price of Gazprom... I’ll say more, Lithuania itself does not need such gas, and the naive tycoons turned to the benefactors of the norgs, they say, is it possible to take away not half a billion gas a year, but two hundred million, and even less is better? The good norgs agreed, like you don’t have to take gas at all, the main thing is to pay for the entire volume... The “take it or pay” principle is clearly stated in the contract...

So small but greedy Lithuania, instead of cheap Russian gas, has to consume expensive Norwegian gas alone, and also pay for the rent of a tanker... To spite the grandmother, her entire head is frozen, along with her ears! However, the rich have their own quirks... As Matroskin said: “We have the means, we don’t have enough intelligence...”

Unfortunately, not only Lithuanians lack intelligence...

The Mayan Indians believe that people descended from corn (damn Khrushchev reached out!)... If we really consider the botanical concept of the origin of man, then it is worth noting that not everyone came from corn! The Parliamentary Assembly of the Council of Europe, for example, consists almost entirely of descendants of the hemp bush; I am unable to explain in any other way the high-quality dope that they carry:

Almost forgotten due to a series of recent events, and therefore very offended, the apiaries recently made a statement... A strong thing, I tell you, stronger than Goethe’s “Faust” will be! According to the position of the assembly, Crimea, together with the raider Savchenko, should be immediately given back to Kuyovshchina, troops should be withdrawn from Donbass, and the persecution of NGO foreign agents should be stopped...

As a result, Russia was officially recognized as Mordor and refused to restore the voting rights of the Russian delegation, but at the same time assured that they were committed to an “open and constructive dialogue”...

This is what these stoners mean by dialogue, can someone clearly explain to me!? Dialogue, by definition, involves verbal communication between two participants...

How can you communicate if one of you has a drone sealed with tape?

These... people, what did they even want to achieve with such statements? What answer did they expect? I don’t know, but we got the sacramental:

How are you, dog, filing a petition?

And indeed, the very form of filing a petition raises many questions... The main question is “why do we need all this?” Let’s leave it out of the picture for now, first let’s remember what PACE even is? This is an interparliamentary advisory body that has no right to demand anything from anyone, but can only recommend and advise...

God, as we see, did not give horns to the lively cow, which does not prevent this beast from kicking and mooing offensively... It remains to add that our servants, in the sense of the Duma deputies, in November last year were very indignant at the lawlessness perpetrated by the apiaries and threatened if repetition of truncation of rights, withdraw from the Council of Europe...

Here it is again! What are we waiting for, gentlemen deputies?